People

The advices here might seem opposite - some might say reach out to people, some might say maintain boundaries. It all depends on the phase in your life, you need to find your own balance and this process is Life.

It's much easier to make friends by becoming interested in other people than by trying to get other people interested in you.

Folks

Nobody is your friend

• Only few people really care, rest are just curious

  • *rest just check upon you to see if they are doing any better than you and feel good about themselves.
  • "People work together when it suits them. They're loyal when it suits them. Love each other when it suits them. And they kill each other when it suits them." -- Game of Thrones
  • Most of your friends will be temporary and that's ok. Not every friendship needs to be "I'll love you till the end." Some of them only last a months and that's an upright reality.

• Is the person any important to you?

  • How many fucks you have to give a fuck?

    • Limited fucks to give
    • Don't worry about things that don't matter.

  • Don't give unnecessary importance to people who don't respond in same.

  • If you don't want someone in your life, or you don't want to give them importance, don't give them your time, don't think/talk about them.

• See Prioritising yourself.

Interact within limits

• Being a good person doesn't mean you have to share your every secret (even if the secret is related with the ongoing conversation/discussion).
  • Any information which is meant to stay among very few people, should stay that way. Trust people with the information only if they are directly involved with the agenda.
    • If you are thinking that they are not involved, and hence you can share it with them and get some opinion on the matter. Don't do it. This decision will bite you back.
  • Don't share all the information you have, share minimum information (required to share - no extra information).
    • Also sometimes they need not to hear the truth, truth (or the observation/analysis) is just for you to understand more about yourself.
  • Never share your story (sad stories, personal thoughts) with anyone or everyone, not everyone is your friend.
• "Not bitching/gossiping about others" will add more to your character.
• Don't tell others how you operate
  • Don't explain yourself. Don't give reasons to anyone but be clear of what you doing and why you doing it. You don't explain yourself to shit, you explain yourself to you.
  • Don't tell how you behave, how you function to others, let them figure it out. People take advantage of the facts. For example, if someone knows that you have anger issues, they can push you into such a situation (not intentionally, see intent vs impact), or even blame you for some argument where you were not even at fault. Basically it creates a bias, and since it is accepted by you it becomes a strong one. And biases are not good to have with emotional people.
• Never admit your faults in front of each and everyone.
  • Even if you are guilty don't acknowledge it, understand and admit it to yourself.
  • Understand, most people are insecure and close-minded, they play the "pulling down" game and you have given them a weapon.
  • Not saying never. Carefully judge before admitting it - situations and repurcusions.
    • Nobody is your friend

Conflicts

• See Conflict Resolution.

Care about people

• "Be curious, not judgemental" -- Ted Lasso

  • "And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music." -- Friedrich Nietzsche
  • Being judgemental is being rejectful of what you can't understand, don't be rejectful.
    • Judgement also comes from one's need to sound an important person (insecurity <> ego in disguise)
  • Be empathetic, you don't know how is the day going for the other person

• Celebrate other's wins

  • Don't celebrate their efforts - appreciate them but celebrate only wins
    • Life is tough
  • Never fail to appreciate a person who deserves it.
    • Everybody likes to hear praises, even if you don't believe it, try to be as genuine as possible.
  • They should face consequences of their bad actions, see intention -vs- action.

• Genuinely care about them

  • You ask people where they are from, how are they doing and they choose to tell you their important details and you forget
    • It gives the feeling you are a taker, a user. You giving attention because you want something from them
    • Eventually their likeness towards you will turn into dislike

Help

• Constantly ask, "How can I help"
  • See networking.
• Help those in need.
  • Knowledge becomes helpful only when the person is seeking for one. Do not unsettle the minds of the ignorant.

• To help people, understand where they are coming from, what is the source of their problem. Most of the time they don't know the cause, they just know the symptoms. They don't want you to tell what is the ideal way to do things. They just want you to help them get going.
  • If you try to give him the ideal/generic solution, the other person won't feel comfortable with you, and in future he/she will talk in objectivity (with limited words), or often will try to avoid you.

• See Prioritising yourself.
  • Also, see greed.
• When life gets boring or low, helping other people is the best cure for it.

Family and Friends

• You can be replaced at work but not at home. So make sure you take time off from work no matter how much you love it.
• See Friendship.

Relationships

• Never judge your relationship in the honeymoon phase

• Don't allow people to climb over you. Tell them they are free to choose, and same applies for you.

• Learn from people around you, everybody has a story to tell. Everyone has learnings/philosophy of their own.