"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place." — George Bernard Shaw
Most communication problems aren't about content. They're about delivery — how you structure what you say, what words you choose, and whether you get to the point or bury it.
Get to the Point First
The most common mistake: burying the main point at the end after a long buildup. Listeners are waiting for the point from the first sentence. If you don't give it to them early, you lose them.
Top-down communication: State your main point first, then provide context and details. This is the opposite of how we often tell stories, but it's how effective professional communication works.
Instead of:
"So I was looking at the numbers from last quarter, and I noticed some patterns, and after talking to the team I think we might want to consider..."
Say:
"We should change our pricing strategy. Here's why..."
The PREP Method
For any structured point — in a meeting, a presentation, a written message:
- Point — state your main point clearly upfront
- Reason — explain why, with evidence or data
- Example — cite a concrete example
- Point — restate your conclusion
Practice this until the instinct to front-load your conclusion becomes natural.
Watch Your Vocabulary
Words that weaken what you're saying:
- Superlatives: "very", "really", "extremely" — use a stronger word instead
- Fillers: "umm", "like", "basically", "sort of" — these signal that you haven't finished thinking
- Negative qualifiers: "this might be a dumb idea but..." — just say the idea
- Constant apologies: saying "sorry" before every request. Use "I appreciate it" or just ask directly
Words to avoid in arguments:
- "It's not fair" — use specific facts instead
- "I assume..." — from above or below, it signals either passive aggression or deflection
Pause before you respond. Five seconds of silence feels long to you and normal to everyone else. Use it. Pausing signals thought, not confusion.
Be Concise
Ask yourself before speaking or writing: how would I say this in 5 seconds? 10 seconds? If you can't, you haven't clarified your own thinking yet.
In written messages:
- Lead with what you need, not the backstory
- Bullet points, not paragraphs, for anything over two points
- Consider what is need-to-know vs. want-to-know — cut the latter
For scheduling: don't say "let me know when you're free." Propose a time. Asking them to do the work of finding a time just delays the conversation.
Consider What is Need-to-Know vs. Want-to-Know
Not everyone needs all the context you have. Know your audience and trim accordingly. Save the details for when they're asked.